Collection of Funny Short stories
by lilly1720
Summary: Okay so far i have 3 chapters.... The Volturi get in a car crash...Edward Get's A Tattoo. and Vladimir and Stefan Prank Call the Volturi this 1 funny . soooo, please review and possibly give ideas.... thanx
1. Volturi Get in a CRASH!

**A Collection of Short Stories.... by Lilly1720! Hope you enjoy!!!!**

**.......................**

**Story 1**

**The Volturi Get in a Car Crash!!!! **

**Starring:**

**Jane**

**Aro**

**Alec**

**And**

**Marcus**

**...**

Aro POV

One day Jane, Marcus, Alec and I decided to go on a mission.... we had to go to the Ferrari dealership and buy a car. We had $200,000 dollars that we had in our rooms and went for a ride.

"So Alec what car should we get?" Jane asked.

"360 spider!!!!"

"Or newer car! Dope." I said, "That cars from '03."

"Okay what about last years model." Jane asked me.

"What about this years cheapest model."

"Okay." Jane and Alec agreed.

We reached the parking lot and.... "Holy cow you just missed a spot!" Alec yelled.

"Yeah, it was right on the corner!"

"We're vampires we can walk as far as we wish." I said.

"Um hum" Marcus mumbled.

"Wow, he actually talked!" Jane said ecstatically.

"ARO! THAT CAR JUST PULLED OUT YOU COULD OF PARKED THERE!" Alec suddenly screamed at me.

"Just shut up and....." Jane cut me off and our heads went forward a bit.

"That was a car we just hit."

"Damn."

We sat there for ten minutes until the police came... "Sir may I see your license and registration." He asked.

"Don't we live in Italy why does everybody have American accents?"

"Ummm...." I didn't have one...

.....

please review and this may not be the funniest one... u no it won't be....more to come!


	2. vladimir and stefan prank the volturi

Vladimir and Stefan prank call the Volturi

By Lilly1720

…

It was a nice bright summer day when Vladimir and Stefan of the Romanian Coven got bored. So they decided to call the Volturi…

"Hey Stefan." Vladimir said.

"Yes."

"Do you know how to call someone and on their caller ID it says 'restricted'?" Vladimir asked and Stefan looked up from his reading.

"Oh yes…. Star 67 should work."

"Thanks…. Oh yes and if you would like to join me in this devilish prank your welcomed."

Stefan gracefully walked over to Vladimir watching him dial the Volturi.

Aro answered, "Yes?"

"Hello." Slight giggle, "Do you have Prince Albert in a can…" he paused to breathe, "Well, you better let him out!" he said and hung up. The two friends started to laugh so hard they held their hard stomachs.


	3. Edward get's a tattoo

**Jasper Convinces Edward to get a tattoo….**

**By Lilly1720**

**Starring:**

**The Creepy Tattoo artist**

**Edward **

**Jasper**

**Bella**

**Alice**

…

Edward's POV

…

It was Jasper I was worried most about today…. He seemed _way_ to happy. Today was Nessie's birthday and for some reason Jasper wanted to give _me _a special surprise….

"Edward, Edward come here!" he said and dragged me into the silent kitchen.

"Yes, what is it Jazz." I asked him.

"Look." He handed me a mini pamphlet that said, _so you've decided to ruin you're skin by getting a TATTOO._

"Jazz why did you get me this." But of course I didn't need to ask, _he he we're going to get you a big one! _He thought.

"No Jazz I' am not getting a tattoo." I said.

"But why? If you could read Bella's mind she would be thinking yes how sexy and you don't have to worry about you getting all old and wrinkly…. For pet's sake you're a vampire."

That was my weak spot whenever someone mentioned Bella. "Okay let me see what her opinion is. I walked over to her and asked, "Should I get a tattoo Bell's?"

"What? Hell no." she replied.

Suddenly Alice came flying down the stairs, "I had a vision that you got a tattoo… get one it'll be AWESOME!!!"

"Fine…" I mumbled.

…

We arrived at the tattoo parlor and meet the so-called "artist".

"So what kind of ink do you want?"

"Um, black?" I answered.

"Edward don't have any second thoughts this guy is great." Jazz said and lifted up the back of his shirt and turned around and his back was covered in what said _Alice Cullen Jasper Hale _and it had a huge lion in the center. I was speechless…. Well not really.

The man brought me in the back room and sat me down on a chair. "So where do you want it? And what?" he asked.

"Um my back and a lion that say's _Bella Forever."_

"Do you want it to be the number four or for?"

"Why would you have it with the number four?" I asked.

"So I take it you want the correctly spelled forever"

"Yes."

When it was done the man looked at me. "You and you friend are the only ones who don't have red skin afterwards."

"Our mom has great skin." I made up a white lie and lifted up my shirt… It said _Amy Forever. _

Oh crap…. What will Bella think ….?

"Oh yeah you wanted Bella not Amy." The man said and scratched his head...


End file.
